The Only Two Suckers I Can Trust

1. I am a straight female with a healthy appreciation for boobs. I was cleaning up my bloglines and ran across this blog that I rarely read. It took me a second to realize why I stored it in the first place. It's written by this chick with very little personality and her posts were chock full of mundane shit that I couldn't care less about. So we have that in common. But every week or so she would post a picture of her boobies. Her jiggojugs are not great. They are just plain ol' smallish boobs, but I would always scroll through all her bullshit posts to see new boob pictures. Thought process: blahblahblah, scroll scroll, blah squirrels, blah blah BOOBIES! blah blahblah, george cloony blahlhah BOOBIES! blahblah blah shoes blah, scroll scroll BOOBIES!

And I imagine this is what it is like to be a guy talking to a girl at a bar.

2. I went to buy a flat screen television this weekend to surprise Ryan when he got home from San Antonio. The manager at the electronics store told me I had lovely blue eyes and then proceeded to knock off about $400 off my total. When Ryan got home, I told him and he immediately pointed to my boobs. "You think he gave me the discount because of my boobs?! What about my lovely blue eyes?! What about my charming fucking personality?!" and I stormed off only to return a minute later and then I was all, "Ok. So maybe it was my boobs." And Ryan nodded his head proudly and looked at me like I just figured out that life was not entirely about shoes and make up (it is also about video games and beer). However disappointing it may be, I have learned a valuable lesson. 1. Men are sad creatures. 2. Men are easily manipulated. 3. Tight shirts = discounts. 4. I wish I would have shown that manager my uterus. TV's are expensive, yo.