Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Thank you for being a friend

Thanks, Mom, for telling me about someecards.com.








Back when I got my phace surgery, I stayed with Stephanie. Since I couldn’t see and had to be on my back for three days straight, she looked upon this as an opportunity to brainwash me into becoming a fan of The Golden Girls. Remember that, Stephanie? That 72 hour marathon of Golden Girls DVDs that I convinced your boyfriend to buy you for Christmas because I thought I was being a good friend and then you turned around and used it against me? Remember how I was moaning and begging you to change the channel and you just kept piling the frozen food bags on my face until I was an inaudible pile of vegetable medley? Remember how your room automatically started to smell like mothballs and stale cookies baked with cathairs? And then! In a dramatic turn of events, remember how I developed Stockholm Syndrome and kind of started liking/identifying with that old slutty one? Well, that was 2 years ago next month and I tell you what. I am over it. I refuse to like them, alright? Then I got in a domestic altercation (which basically consisted of me period-ing out on my boyfriend) [Note to boyfriend: Don’t think because I admitted I was on my period means you were right] so I spent the night at your house a couple of weeks ago and, of course, it had to be the day Estelle Getty died and we went to sleep with a Golden Girls DVD looping through the night. By the third episode I wasn’t even begging for you to violently mash several bags of frozen peas on my face and head. Good times, my friend. Good times.








9 Comments:

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Did you end up buying a Golden Girl necklace? I LOVE MINE!

2:54 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

I wept that night. Estelle Getty was a hot piece of ass.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

i <3 stephanie!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

pants - i bought one for stephanie and she even wears it to work! thank you for the link!

jay - i bet she had sex with more men than all the other ones combined. age = experience

jamie - i do too! but then, all of my friends are pretty freaking rad.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

I too purchased the Golden Girl necklace. Lets keep it quiet. I told my wife it was one of a kind. 25 year anniversaries don't come around too often!

4:17 PM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

didja ever notice how they were ALL getting a lot of tail on that show?

funnier tho that the tail was drooping down to the ground.

not sure where i was going with this...

*hug*
b

7:53 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

...good times.

Speaking of Good Times, now that was a show! Dy-No-Mite!

9:22 AM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

What's with the old bitches? THESE are the Golden Girls.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

tinyhands - hooters called. they want their shimmer tights back.

2:54 PM  

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