I went out to eat with my brother and dad on Saturday at some steakhouse in a small town by the beach that we rode to on their motorcycles. Our waitress was a talker, obviously from East Texas. Amid tragic tales of her losing a fake fingernail in her pocket and chiding us for drinking so much tea, she said this:

One day this young man asked God, "Why did you make girls smell so good?"
And God said, "So you will love them"
And the young man said, "Why did you make 'em so curvy and pretty?"
And God said, "So you will love them"
And the young man said, "Then why did you make them so stupid?"
And God said, "So they will love you."

I think I have heard that before, but I thought it was really funny. Plus, I finally got an answer as to why I such a dumbo!

When we got back home, my brother and I went through some files that our Mom had kept from the time we were little. We found all kinds of awesome and embarrassing things.

This is from when I was on the dance team at school and we had to wear Keds (mine came from Payless) and they made me get ingrown toenails. I cut one out myself and then had to have a doctor do three others. My feet be fugly. Also, notice the red and silver pompoms which contrast nicely with the brown pompom hanging over my left shoulder. We had to wear Hooters tights which made it easier for the girls who stuck to the gym floor when we did splits to get jobs in college. I never stuck to the floor, but that probably had something to do with me always skipping out of practice and smoking cigarettes and drinking Boonesfarm in the parking lot and then when pep rallies came around, I was always the one 2 steps behind everyone else when we danced to exciting numbers like "The Flintstones" (where we wore trashbags and neckties) and "Chatahoochie"....undertones, anyone? Very exciting stuff, people. I bring it.