Friday, September 19, 2008

My hair looks awesome

So we had this storm last weekend. We were going to get out of town, but decided to stay at the last minute. We're about 20 miles from Galveston Bay where it hit land. I slept through the whole thing because that is just the way I roll. We didn't have too much damage (a tree came through our fence and the roof was a little messed up), but we had a lot of cleaning up to do. We are very, very fortunate!! Today is the 6th day we are going without electricity. I came to work today and feel a little less like a pioneer, but it's kinda sad that I would much rather be hauling tree limbs and raking than working. I miss my Chi. Booooo.

Know what sucks about raking and bagging an entire yard covered in leaves and sticks? There are hidden piles of doodoofeces waiting to surprise you and then get on your gloves which you use to wipe sweat off your face. Grode.

Also, we are getting to know our neighbors very well. So well, in fact, that one of them wanted to show me his "teepee" last night. He thinks his wife is cheating on him and he wanted me to look at it and tell him if anything is wrong with it. Um...Inapprope! So I told him that it probably wasn't his body as much as it was his personality. I probably should have taken him up on it. I haven't seen a stranger peen since that old guy asked Jeanie and me for directions and had his shiny bumpy weiner laying on the bottom of the steering wheel and I didn't notice til after I gave him directions and we called 911 and gave interviews, thus becoming members of the San Marcos Junior Police. Rad.


Blogger Chris said...

You can be sure that if the world finds itself in the grip of economic and cultural collapse, climatic armegeddon, nuclear winter, or the rise of the cyborgs, the pervs will always find a few moments for the trench coat shuffle.

10:00 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

wow, only you can mix mother nature, power loss, pioneering, and peens into one story to make me feel better you're okay, wonder about how to change a wagon wheel and be lambasted with imagery of old plasted peens thanks to yer super keeno way of describing things...

i'll come over and help ya' rake maybe once i crawl out from under my desk.


11:11 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Do you make this shit up? hahaha I have never had a stranger show me a peen! Gwah!

You crack me up!

1:27 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

I'd like to state for the record that you and your friend touched it on your own volition, even if it was for the free candy.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

chris - and they will always be drawn to my reaction which lies somewhere between disgust and complete fascination.

bronx - i don't know what a plasted peen is, but i certainly don't want to get lambasted with one. and also, if you could bring come lawn and leaf bags that'd be awesome. oh, and some ice.

jamie - that really happened. the reason it doesn't happen to you is because you are smart enough and have a good enough intuition to cut off communication with someone before they decide you are a good candidate to show their dingdong to. consider yourself lucky.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

jay - what can i say? i like shiny things.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Wow, 6 days? I had power the day after it passed through. heh. Maybe you should have come to my house. I'd have let you use my blowdryer. And I most likely wouldn't have asked you to look at my peen.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I think my wife's cheating on me, will you look at my penis? That doesn't even make sense. What a tard. Why are stupid people so stupid?

1:08 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Teepee? WOW!

9:42 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home