Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Is it too late to change New Kids?

I don't want Jonathan anymore.

Why do I always wind up with the gay ones, LANCE BASS. I am changing my new kid to Jordan. I don't even care if I have to wait in line or if he had to get his stomach pumped because it was filled with so much sperm. Too bad I have a boyfriend or I would be hitting that.

P.S. how could i not know jonathan was gay?? look at that jacket! he should be on youtube with the other gay men masturbating while smoking cigarettes and wearing leather (hot - you should look it up)


Anonymous Amber D. said...

Dude, I have a boyfriend and I would so hit that. We each have 10 free passes we can use on celebrities, and after last week's NKOTB concert, I took off Justin Timberlake and replaced him with Jordan.

Justin's becoming kind of a douche, anyways.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

Sounds like the two of you would hit it off, given all the common ground.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

amber - that is a hard decision right there. do you remember when JT was in N-Sync and they did that dirty pop video where they were like in a push up position and then they wiggled their hips like they were DOING IT and then they popped their head to the side and looked at me? remember that? i don't know if jordan could take out JT after that move. that was pretty hot.

jay - i'm not dumb enough to go to the ER. that's what toothbrushes and gag reflexes are for.

11:29 AM  
Blogger JL said...

I finally posted about my NKOTB concert- with a few pictures of Jordan's chest (after I got over the shock of seeing it on the jumbotron, of course).

I still have my diary from 1990 and I have two entries from the sperm-stomach-pumping debacle. I think I was heartbroken.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Amber D. said...

Haha, I went back home this weekend to my parents' house, and my mom still has my pencil box from 4th grade... After further inspection, the sentence "I love Jordan" is written on the side with white-out. I showed my boyfriend, to prove I wasn't a poser and really DID love Jordan, to which he responded, flip it over and look at the other side... where "I love Joey" was written.

He said I must have been a 10 year old whore.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

jonathon is NOT gay. he isn't.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Sassy Pants said...

Pfft. My husband's body is hotter than that :)

12:05 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

But he's wearing a wife beater in that picture. That is a huge turn-off. I'd go for the gay one before the wife beater guy any day.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Wait, but is Jonathan really gay?

And does no one love Joey now? He's so hot. Hell, I'd take any 3 of them. Joey, Jonathan (gay or no gay), and Jordan.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

JL - the stomach pumping thing was one of the more traumatic experiences of my prepubescent life. ewe. i said prepubescent. that's a gross word.

Amber - i always say about myself, i say i'm not so much as a whore, but a lady with a back up plan.

jamie - i know, honey. just like niel patrick harris isn't. love me some doogie.

sassy pants - i don't know if i believe you. send me shirtless pictures immediately. for educational purposes.

christie - wife beaters are hot. as long as it's not being worn by an actual wife beater.

brandi - joey is still too young for me. plus, his hair is way better and that kinda makes me want to punch him in the mouth.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Sassy Pants said...

I just sent you shirtless pictures. You be the judge.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

SP dammit! The day I decide to leave work early I get half nekkid pics. Typical.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I just tagged you. I felt the need. Go to my blog to contemplate if you think it's too lame to do it or if you want to dedicate a post to me. I won't be offended either way. Wait, yes I will.

8:44 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

SP - holy crap. if i had your husband, i would make him dress up like a fireman every night and i would pretend like my house was on fire and make him pick me up and carry me down the stairs and out the door and then i would pretend like, "oops. my house is all burned down. guess i am going to have to stay at the fire station with you." and then i would make him carry me back into the house - which is now the fire station - and he would set the alarm clock and we would race each other down the fireman pole. hawt.

brandi - dude, after you posted those pics, i'll do whatever you want.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

um...I thought Jordan was gay too????

9:45 AM  

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