I got tagged

by Sassy Pants Mama.

Here is the purse I am carrying. I got it when I went to New York with my mom and her friend who has a 23 year old son that speaks 4(!!!) different languages. He talked the guy in a hidden room down about $30 and settled on $25 and when he was finished, I was all, "Thanks for speakin oriental to that guy for me. Can I borrow 25 bucks?" So I got the bag. The fabulous fake Gucci bag that looks pretty real to me. I was all excited til I got home and realized people may actually think I paid $800 for a purse. I could hear their thoughts, "Why is she wearing red fake plastic Walmart crocs and carrying a Gucci bag??" "She should have spent that $800 on microderm abrasion instead of grossly priced accessories" So now I try to hide the label so that it is facing my body, but people still notice. Still, it is damn cute and I will work it.

What is in it?

1. My mom's friend gave me a bag from the Museum of Modern Art in NY and it is rad. I carry my make up in it.

2. Wallet

3. NoDoz - I can't sleep at work anymore. Damn cubicles.

4. A half of a leaf

5. Elkskin coinpurse that my mom got me from Norway. It reminds me of a kangaroo scrotum and it smells delicious.

6. 10 Zip ties. You never know.

7. A brush for my nap

8. A straw

Look at these boots I got this weekend! They are awesome.

I don't know a lot about boots. These are Lucchese boots. I had to ask for them at the counter and I said, "I got boots waiting. They are the Loo-cheese-ies" and she looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was just trying to be funny or if I really was that dumb and then she said, "You mean, 'Lou Casey'?" Yeah, those. Good stuff, these things. I am going to wear them with dresses and hook up with drug dealers that I barely know in alleys on top of cars so people will quit threatening my family; drug dealers that I will subsequently hire to help me run my grow house.