Dude, Amber totally gave me an award! When I read my name, I immediately thought that either the doctor hooked her up with some sweet ass street drugs for her broken arm or that her judgement has been severely compromised from getting to see Jordan Knight shirtless TWICE considering I have only been blogging once a month and it has been about such hilarious subjects as death and fart jars. So I have concluded that this is a pity award, so I will take it like the several pity dates men took me on in college only I won't guilt her into sex and then call her incessantly for the next 6 days telling her I might be pregnant.

Thanks, Amber!

I do have a few things to talk about today. OK, maybe just one for today. I will spread it out. I am the best spreader in 6 counties.

1. My brother is super smart and he knows everything about everything and if he doesn't he will make up something that sounds like it would work and I will believe it until I am in college and arrogantly expound infront of 15 people on how the foam in the river is snake spit so we should take extreme precaution when floating in foamy areas. Anyway, I had a conversation with my mother the other day that went like this:

Me: Travis is just so smart. He knows everything about everything.

Mom: You are smart too!

Me: Nu-uh!

Mom: Yes-huh.

Me: At what?

Mom: (long silence) well, you know more facts about deer/vehicle collisions than any person I know!

I am sure she is stoked that she spent over $30,000 on my college education.