Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Awkward Conversations from Easter Weekend

In the living room with Ryan and his parents.

Ryan's Mom: Hey! Remember when that doctor came to your gym class when you were thirteen and gave everyone physicals? He said your testicles hadn't dropped yet and was concerned that you needed surgery.

Ryan: Didn't happen.

Ryan's Mom: Yes, it did. I remember because we thought we were going to have to pay for surgery. Maybe just one didn't drop?

Ryan: No, Mom! It was that I have a third nut!

Crystal: It is ok that you were a late bloomer. I love you anyway.

Ryan's Mom: A third nut?? No, that wasn't it.

Ryan: Yes, it was! I still have a third nut! Ask Crystal! She knows!

Crystal: :-/


The next day in the car again with his parents. I sent Ryan a text message.

Crystal: You haven't texted me back.

Ryan: So?

Crystal: Ugh. I texted you something sweet and you won't even respond to it?

Ryan: I can say whatever it is back to you. I am sitting right here.

Crystal: Fine. Do it, then.

Ryan: Ok. You're sexy too and I want to bone too.

Crystal: :-/

9 Comments:

Blogger J-ME said...

THIS is why i love you! always reliable for a laugh!

7:23 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Crystal! I'm coming here to tell you that your comment on my blog re: Martika and Kids Incorporated made me LOL. Then I read this post and LOL'd again. You are hilarious. I dub thee my friend (against your will).

7:56 PM  
Blogger Ed said...

Great way of making an impression on the future mother-in-law.

Ryan's helping with that was classy.

8:46 PM  
Blogger shine said...

Can I just follow you around with a voice recorder and record this shit?

I mean, in a not creepy, not stalkery kind of way.

FOR THE ART!

7:17 AM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

I love Crystal. Thanks for sharing.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

Bwhahaha! This is why the Spouse Sparrow and I have stopped talking, now that we're living with my folks.

On the plus side, if they're talking about your intended's wedding tackle right in front of company, looks like you'll fit right in.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Jay Ferris said...

It's called a spermatocele, and it's totally normal. I don't care what you or the second girl I ever slept with says about it!!

8:07 AM  
Blogger Christie said...

If you want to see what you two will be like after 6 years of marriage, come hang out at our house. My husband loves saying shit that is highly inappropriate in front of family just to embarrass me. Douche.

9:21 PM  
Blogger The Mop said...

We Honestly, are sad you don't blog more.

10:14 PM  

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