Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Hey dude.

I haven't blogged in awhile because I am pregnant and boring. I never realized how much time I spent drunk blogging/talking/thinking until I wasn't allowed to be drunk anymore. These are the only thoughts that run through my head now:

"!" and
"chicken nugget"

and that is about it. Also, I don't want to be one of those people who only talks about being pregnant and then only talks about the baby and then all of the sudden, I wake up and I am one of those moms who publicly criticizes other women for feeding their children hot dogs and pop tarts (LOSERS). Of course, the time it takes to talk smack about other moms, I will undoubtedly need a babysitter and I will just hire the television. My mom says if anyone gives me a hard time about the way I am raising this kid, I should just say this: "Fuck you"

My mom is pretty awersome.

Wanna see my gut?

15 weeks - That is an A3 wife beater. My kid gon be punk rock. Or an emotional mess who paints his fingernails black and cries too much.

17 weeks - I am tired of just looking like I am chubby. I either want to look normal or pregnant. I am sick of this inbetween life stages thing.

I can't button my pants now...and even when I can, I wind up unbuttoning them by lunch. It makes my usual stealthy stranger groping slightly awkward.

Also, I got married! Whoohoo! I will show you some pictures later. I was really worried about fitting in my dress. This was the first choice:

This picture was taken 5 months ago.

So the dress came in 3 weeks before the wedding! I was really concerned about fitting in that dress and for good reason. It looked pretty gross on me and once it zipped up, I could barely breathe because my boobs kicked my lungs out the way. So I got a new dress. This is the dress at the fitting two weeks before the wedding:

In two weeks that dress also looked different on me. I will post pictures later, but be sure you don't have any children in the room. They may either start crying or become ravenously hungry.

Ok, since I am boring, you guys also get a picture of Stephanie's new ass tattoo.

RIP Rue McClanahan


Blogger Ed said...

Golden Girls Tat for the WIN!

Glad you're back, Chubby.

Congrats on the future crumb-snatcher.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

hmmm. i've been wondering how all these new changes in your life were going to affect me. however, after seeing the skin shots i realized they aren't at all.

7:33 AM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

You're the sh** for that tat.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Erin said...

I can't even believe someone else has a Golden Girls tattoo! My friend just got one. Weird.
Also, congratulations - both on the marriage and the baby!!!

1:43 AM  
Anonymous Mom said...

You will be a wonderful mother. There's nothing wrong with hot dogs and poptarts. They are healthy. By that, I mean they are good for a mother's mental health when her children are hungry and she is rushed. Love, Mom

12:59 PM  

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