Monday, April 25, 2011

So yeah....

I have avoided blogging for awhile. I was refusing to have a mommy blog...not that mommy blogs are a bad thing, but it is kind of weird to go from writing about mcribs and my husband's undescended third nut to cradle cap and stories about how I rushed my daughter to the doctor because I thought she had measles, but she only got bitten by an ant. I thought I'd have plenty of things to discuss besides the baby, but my entire life is babybabybaby. I frikkin LOVE the kid, by the way. She is, by far, the coolest person I have ever met in my entire life and she doesn't even talk! That's probably one of the reasons I like her so much - she lets me do all the talking.

However, I am trying to put off work so I decided screw it, I am going to blog. I will ease into it with labor. I got induced; 24 hours later I was pushing; 2 hours after that, the doctor decided that my hips were too small and I had to have an emergency c-section. I, of course, started freaking out and crying and then they gave me some drugs and I talked to the doctor about lord knows what while she was elbow deep in my guts. Literally. That is not a sexual euphamism. I was freezing. Probably because my insides were strewn about the OR. I thought about screaming "FREEEEDOM". Ha I am hilarious. So then, she sewed me up (7 layers of stitches!) , sent the baby off to the nursery with Ryan and wheeled me off to recovery. While in recovery, and still quite loopy, I had the same nurse that I'd had during the day and I noticed she had a mole on her chin. Only, I didn't know it was a mole and I said, "HEEEEEY! When did you get your face pierced???" to which she replied, "What?" and I said, "YOUR FACE! IT IS PIERCED!" and she looked at me crazy and then I said, "I'm sorry. I'm all fucked up." Then Ryan made it back to me at which point I said, "Hey! Aren't you glad our baby isn't black!?" and he told me to be quiet because there was a black family on the other side of the curtain. So then I felt the need to explain that the reason I said that was because I did not have sex with a black man, therefore, my baby turned out white and not black. Not that I would mind having sex with a black man, but I am married to Ryan who is white. Ugh. Shut up, Crystal.

Right up to the second I heard her cry, I was completely baffled why someone would go through this more than once. Why do people have more than one child on purpose??? Now I know.

So then a bunch of stuff happened that you probably don't want to know about and I got the kid home and got no sleep. She sleeps great, but I was in anxious mom mode and was constantly checking on her to make sure she was breathing.

She is pretty perfect though and is now sleeping 11-12 hours a night and rarely cries unless something is wrong. I am completely smitten.


Blogger Ed said...


I was wondering how things turned out.

Missed you while you were gone too.

My, you have hairy arms. ;)
Cute kid though.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Seaners said...

Yay! Glad you're back and everyone's ok!!

11:06 AM  
Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Congrats! Your drugged out comments were hysterical. Sorta makes me want to get knocked up so I have an excuse for saying inappropriate things. Oh, and she is adorable!

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Erin said...

Yay! I missed reading your blog and wondered when you might be back. Congratulations! Your daughter is adorable =)

10:10 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

lame excuse for not hanging out with me anymore

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Maddie said...

I was so fucking cold during my c-section! Luckily my anesthesiologist was nice and kept layering warm blankets on me. It didn't make much difference, but it was nice anyway.

Your little one is beautiful. Glad you're OK and you and Ryan made it out OK after your drugged up comments. :)

12:30 AM  
Blogger TX Gooner! said...

Last time i went under I named names and threatened important people. Now I just bite on a stick or a piece of leather.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Dina said...

omg she is so cute, and

yay you posted and

lol about the black baby comment

I all loudly was asking after my emergency csection,

does this mean I won't have my period for six weeks, do you suck it out?


3:18 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Ed...better to warm my child with! :)

Seaners - it is good to be back!

Paige Jennifer - you can always say inappropriate stuff and blame it on your period, but then if anyone asks if it is your period, you have a right to be pissed off. That's what I did before I had a kid.

Erin - thanks dude! I love that kid!

tinyhands - whaaaat? you fell off the face of the 713. where you at?

Maddie - I was freezing during my c-section too. THey were giving me blankets, but they weren't really working. Then they put this hot air blanket on me called the bear hug or something. That was awesome. I wish you lived closer so we could have play dates!

Gooner - you talking about during sex?

Dina - lmao @ sucking it out. Freaking hilarious.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Myrna Wilson said...

Hilarious! Now I'm terrified about what I'll say during labor.

10:28 AM  

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