Monday, October 15, 2012

Conversation in the bathroom at a dive bar in my hometown

Me:  (to myself) This stall won't lock

Stranger: (from the other stall) You got to pull up on that shit!

Me:  Ok, it worked.  Thanks!

Stranger:  It ain't like it gon prevent nobody from bustin in and whippin yo ass!

Me: (peeing) well, I sure hope that won't happen.  That could get messy.

Stranger: Guh!  If somebody start whoopin yo ass when you on a turlet, your piss and shit will stop.

Me:  why would anyone want to beat me up when I am on the toilet?

Stranger:  Guh! I just got out the pin-tin-churry.  That shit happen!

Me: (coming out of the stall to wash my hands next to her)  I don't think I would be able to fight back.

Stranger: (incredulous) YOU A PUSSY?

Me:  Kind of.

Stranger:  No. You got to defend yo-self! If somebody bust that do' open and start whoppin yo ass, you just gon let em beat yo ass?  While you shittin???

Me:  I just want people to like me.

Stranger:  Dumb ass white girl.  I ain't got time for this shit.

aaaaaand scene.



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Now you can tell your kids that you met Sweet Brown in a public restroom.

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