Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I've got a book of matches, I've got a can of kerosene...

I am purchasing this strictly for charity.

Sorry, Keda. Here's the link if you have a big heart and want to support the burnt children too.

While we are on the subject, my friend Nicole, who singlehandedly destroyed my self-esteem back in May, is tapping Mr. July. Yes, he is a pretty boy. So pretty, in fact, that I naturally assumed he was gay. But no. And he drives a Corvette, which is my favorite car (yes, I am total white trash). However, I would not date him...unless he begged me to drive his car while he cleaned my house and cooked meals for me every day. I will proceed to generalize. Men like that...are pretty into themselves. It would probably take him longer to get ready to leave the house than me. The ladies flock to them so I would always have to carry a makeshift lance to beat the sluts about their heads and faces. Plus, when guys look like that, they never really have to develop a personality (unless they were a nerd in high school and then got a maury povich makeover - then I may date him). Personality is key. I have met several men who I thought were hot, but whose looks depreciated as soon as they opened their mouths.

From what I understand, Mr. July exhibits a lot of those qualities. Generalizations are generalizations for a reason. Apparently, when the guy gets near any reflective surface, he is checking himself out. High maintenance. I tell you what. Gimmie a normal guy any day of the week.


Blogger Clearlykels said...

Is that like how boys buy playboy for the articles?

1:48 PM  
Blogger keda said...

and the online shop is whereabouts exactly?

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's NOTHING compared to the Men of the South Pole calendar. Really, anyone can run into a burning house, but how many people do you know can run outside on a frozen ice plateau wearing nada?

6:41 PM  
Blogger Celeste said...


10:46 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Kelly - no, i am not interested in reading anything.

neal - you're right. when are yall going to publish that anyway??

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he's a male bimbo - he's mimbo!

sarahreznor (blogger is down - my life is over!)

9:18 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Hey, when does "The Men of Wisconsin's Dairy Farms" calender come out? I hear the paunches are extra paunchy this year.

11:42 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:43 AM  
Blogger keda said...

i agree completely.

i even went off brad pit when i saw his perfectly sculpted chest in meet joe black.

doesn't mean i don't enjoy looking though..
i just don't like my boys to be prettier than me i guess. give me hairy rugged anyday. ooh yes now about the south pole calendar...

7:12 AM  

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