Monday, April 14, 2008

The Hit-It List

So since I made y'all do it, I did it too. You can see other people's Doing-It Lists here:

Pants, pants, PANTS!
Theodore Grunt

After reading all of theirs it kinda makes me want to do it with each one of them or at least have them make me a mix tape. I love me some mix tapes.

Thanks, you guys, I didn't realize what a time consuming project this was!!! There are so many I left out!

Here goes mine:

Category I: Dry Humping Songs

1. Centro-Matic - Rat Patrol & DJs
There is something about this guy’s voice that makes me want to wrap myself around the first thigh I see and vigorously pump.

2. The Cure – Halo
I’ve never felt like this with anyone before…you only have to smile and I’m dizzy. One of The Cure’s less depressing songs. It makes me WANT to really like someone so this is good for people I don’t like that much but make out with anyway just so they will stop talking.

3. Promise Ring – A Picture Postcard
These guys’ lyrics are kind of confusing and the guy is actually a terrible singer, but the part at the end where he starts screaming “If I put my hands to your stomach…” makes my insides melt and explode at the same time.

4. Jets to Brazil – Sweet Avenue
Melts my butter every time. Also makes me want to smoke cigarettes and bud at my fingertips and scratch part of him that’s purring.

5. Johnny Cash & June Carter – Help Me Make It Through The Night

6. The Wailing Walls - Gimme Drugs

Category II: Getting to Know Each Other Sexytime Songs

1. Nine Inch Nails – The Perfect Drug
The part where the tempo changes and he says “and I want you” is HOT.

2. Queens of the Stone Age – 3’s & 7’s
Really hot if I can keep myself from making “wuh wuh wuh” noises in the ear of my lovah.

3. Def Leopard – Pour Some Sugar On Me
Once, while out with friends, this song came on the juke box and I stood on the bar and poured the contents of Sweet-N-Low packets into the mouths of several gentlemen who were obviously desperate for my sachrin. Hot.

4a. Otis Redding – These Arms of Mine
4b. Solomon Burke – Cry to Me
Hey, if it is good enough for Baby, it is good enough for me.

5. Damien Rice featuring Lisa Hannigan – La Fille Danse
Are you kidding me? French panty dropping music here.

6. Regina Spektor - Samson

Category III: Balls to the Wall Boning Songs

1. Ice Cube – Down for Whatever
I don’t think I need to even explain this one. Pimpin ain’t easy but it’s necessary.

2. Jawbreaker – Chesterfield King
This is the same lead singer as Jets to Brazil (above). This song is an awesome love story once you figure out the lyrics. It also may not be included on the balls to the wall list because I may have to stop what I am doing to violently bob my head around.

3. Lovage – Book of Love
This song literally smells of action. You are the griddle. I am the meat. You are the circus. I am the freak. I can turn you on like the electric company.

4. Portishead – Only You

5. David Banner – Play
This is a special occasion song. It is so graphic that I have to be in the right mood or else I just giggle behind my hand and blush the entire time.


Blogger NiolK said...

The Sound of Silence on repeat. Or if thats not available Girlfriend in a coma.

On repeat.

Unless I'm with a granny in which case its Grey Flap by Pist.On.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I'm so glad to see you did the Doing It list! Yay! Now I'll know what to listen to while imagining, er, um...

This may have been time consuming, but rest assured I didn't allow it to get in the way of my big weekend plans: watching the world premiere of a Lifetime movie. (Seriously!) If 25 year old me could see 32 year old me, she would totally kick my ass.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

niolk - wow. i know, i know it's serious. i am concerned about your depresseing choices in music. you must make up for it with your very long and thick personality.

pants - are you dissing lifetime? i am slightly offended. it's ok. i spent nearly the entire weekend playing with my friend's big red cock, which is actually a plastic rooster. i am very immature. i will post pictures later.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

No way! I just think don't think I should be dedicating my own life to Lifetime TV Network...unless we're talking about a miniseries based on my f'd up and dysfunctional family history. Then I'd totally dedicate myself.

You need to check this out:

2:40 PM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Sorry about's a tiny url.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

pants - love it! but what about gin and juice? and fat chronic blunts?!

3:07 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

What, no ATDI?

Thumbs up for Otis Redding.

Since you gals are talking about Lifetime, I always thought that they should have Gary Coleman star in one of those wife beater flicks that they have. The hilarity!

9:58 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

the grunt - ATDI would be on the list, but i usually listen to that when i am angry. i suppose i could wash dishes to it if i was mad. gary could be a cheerleader mom!!

10:21 AM  
Blogger NiolK said...

Hold on, The Incredible Hulk released a dirty song?

10:53 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Gary Coleman is a Utah resident. I want to be his new stalker.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Photogirl said...

Nothing wrong with washing dishes when you're mad.

Like I said over at Grunt's place...Linkin Park is good tunes for that.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Is this post too subtle? I am not getting what y'all are talking about.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Just got my first "doing it songs" search referral!

10:23 PM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

I got carried away with downloading Portishead songs after hearing Only You that I completely forgot about the other songs you mentioned. I love Portishead now.

1:14 AM  
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