Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day and other stuff that's red

Tonight we are celebrating Valentine's Day. I have no idea what we're doing, but Ryan says it is only a quarter of a mile from the house which leads me to believe he is taking me for a picnic in the mosquito farm/half finished park with nails on the ground and a whopper-jawed playscape. I am kind of nervous. He is pretty good at romantical stuff though. I think he knows that if I don't get a good Valentine's Day, he will not get a good March 14 . I hope he brings some Off.

In other news, I am freaking busy as all get out in my semi-new job. We had a training this week where I had to give 5 presentations. 5! I seriously think I am developing an ulcer. Although, I did get to say "suck it" in room full of people so that was nice. Since I am a safety girl now, I have access to all types of good stuff. It's been awhile since I posted something gross. Another safety specialist sent me this picture of his friend's shoulder:

It's a gunshot wound (both entry and exit, baby!) from a 25-09(?). If it wasn't so fascinating, I'd probably puke. I think this happened in Louisiana on a hunting trip.

I also have a picture of a guy who has a wire sticking out of his eyeball, but I will save that one for another day. I don't want to show you my entire bag of tricks on the first go-round cuz then you won't talk to me anymore and I will pretend that I don't care and then wind up drawing a cock-n-balls on your windshield in lipstick and keying foul names into your driver side door.


Blogger Sassy Pants said...

I'm seriously disappointed in your lack of postings lately. How in the hell do you expect me to get through my monotonous day without you? HUH?

By the way, that picture is AWESOME.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

SPM - it's no bedsore, but it should hold you through the day!

9:15 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Dude's a triple threat.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

chris - hmmmm. who a triple threat? i am confused. i already used up my brains this week.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

Is that a leg or a really fat arm? Looks like someone shot a pig carcass.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

dude, it is a shoulder.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I believe its a porn term referring to porn stars who maintain no orifacial boundaries or something. Howard Stern would refer to her as a 3 input woman.

So, with that little defect in his shoulder, dude became a 3 input dude, a triple threat. I'd imagine pretty useful around prisons and such.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Holy shit, Chris. Pee almost just came out of my nose. Hilarious.

Hilarious, also, because the second thing I thought after I saw that picture was, "damn, no wonder they call it a gash."

1:23 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Oh good lord, you just know that bullet wound was close on the heals of "Hey Bubba, watch this!"

9:08 AM  
Blogger meshealle said...

I wish I had read this one with the warning about the eyeball before I read the eyeball one. Eesh.

Gunshot wounds always kick ass...unless they're in me.

8:21 AM  

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