Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I Love My Job

For my job, I sometimes visit a warehouse out in East Texas. It is like Louisiana peed on the top bunk and it ran down and got on Texas' bottom bunk and Texas tried to move over but got covered in pee on the whole right third of the state. Don't get me wrong. I love both Louisiana and East Texas, but I've also been peed on and it is a weird feeling. Don't ask. Every time I visit, I learn something new.

Example 1. I was speaking to one of the managers over lunch who told me he couldn't come to my wedding because that is the same weekend as the Annual Squirrel Scramble in which a bunch of people get together, drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, shoot squirrels and then barbecue them. When I gasped, he told me they taste like chicken. Just go to the grocery store and buy a chicken then! I also learned that some folks eat raccoons.

Example 2. One of the contract truck drivers is always trying to rent out his inflatable doll to everyone. Only recently, he has had to drop his rates slightly because he bit her boob off. Then he put duct tape on it. Good as new! He is renting her out at full price again.

Example 3. One time I went on a date with a guy from East Texas. You can read about that here.

Also, I got to see a dead cow that a guy brought to work in the back of his truck the other day. It was kind of cute.


Blogger Ed Adams said...

Everybody knows that duck tape is like plastic surgery for dolls.


Perhaps I've said too much.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

You have big plans to have someone "Guest Blog" your wedding, right.

For those of us that "Can't believe our little DateMonger, is growing up." and aren't going to make the wedding.

*Sob Sob*

8:13 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Eating raccoons is odd? When I was a boy, growing up in Houston, my friend's dad would hunt raccoon all the time and make raccoon sausage. It was pretty tasty, yo.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

ed...only when your wife won't fix it the right way.

eric - i dunno. you wanna guest blog?

chris - that is grody, man.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

You probably didn't want one of those squirrel-eaters at your wedding anyway.

5:51 AM  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

Right, those distant relatives I mentioned that want me to visit? They're from East Texas.

Definitely not going, oh no.

6:31 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

It has to be someone who is going to the wedding.

"Crystal puked on my shoes, Chrystal pooped on the lawn....etc"

12:15 PM  

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